One week in!

The girls - Sarah, Kayla, and Ella - I will be leading and living with for the next two months :) 

I've been down on project for a week and a half and I've had a lot of ups and downs emotionally. I am learning that I am indeed deeply sinful and have no idea what I'm doing. But a sweet friend reminded me shortly before I left - without my failings there would be no need for the Gospel and that is what I'm clinging to. 

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

My perhaps most deeply rooted sin is that I love to have control. I want so badly to control people's thoughts of me, to manipulate what they think of me so that they think highly of me. But this being my first project ever and being a room leader - there are lots of things I don't know and can't control. God is slowly prying my hands off of the desire and need to control everything and instead teaching me to trust Him. God has me here for a reason, He is sovereign and planned these two months from the beginning of time. And I'm learning to believe and know that I should never ever be in control. Who am I compared to the God of the universe?

The schedule here is really intense. We work about 40 hours a week and have talks, small groups, leaders training, or an all project social almost everyday. Leaders have Wednesday evenings and almost all of Sundays off so I'm learning to use those times wisely. It's been really hard. I'm learning that I have a lot lower capacity than I thought and I absolutely need those times off to withdraw to have some introvert time. Pray that I use those times and never neglect them! 

Would love for you to continue to pray for me as I learn to let go and let God!